Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Ups and Downs

In the interest of transparency

So, not surprising to anyone who has struggled with shopping addiction or any other addiction, I'm having a very 'low' moment. Everything was going along just perfectly. Then, I found the perfect clothing line to update my worn-out, terrible lounge / sleep wear. When I got my first order, I was hooked- it was lovely soft, purely comfortable clothing I've been missing out on ALL MY LIFE! And I had a legitimate need for these clothes. I've been wearing my poor husband's t-shirts and boxers, that's how bad the state of my sleep wardrobe was.

Shopping leads to shopping

The problem? I over-shopped, in a way trying to replace everything all at once, instead of in measured doses. It was like turning on the water, and then the handle breaks. I couldn't stop! I had to get my daughter's birthday party dress and decorations, which was more shopping (albeit again, needed). But then I went on, in my shopping habit, and purchased things for my fall wardrobe. Things that I hadn't needed until I saw them on the websites. I also over-shopped for my kid, who really didn't need everything I purchased.

The damage

I had originally decided I could get a couple sweaters and a winter coat when I find the right one for my out-the-door wardrobe. Instead, this is what I have on its way: 6 dresses, 9 blouses, 1 trench coat, 1 blazer, 1 jacket, 3 pairs of pants, 7 sweaters, 3 tees, and 3 cardigans. I mean, really. What? I'm betting at least 1/2 of this will be returned, but I am hoping to find some things I like. I wouldn't mind having a couple nice dresses I can wear into winter that are not as tight as the ones I have right now, and some variety in tops. The t-shirts are an experiment since I never wear tees, and the cardigans were just really pretty... well, you get the picture. Not my finest moment, that's for sure.

This is all in addition to the lounge/sleep wear I have added: 11 pairs of underwear, 4 tops, 2 bras (exchanging for a size up), 4 leggings, 1 pr pants, 3 tunics, 2 camis, 5 shorts, 2 chemises, 1 robe. These were all pretty necessary though, since I only have a few fuzzy pants and tops in addition to this, and my under garments are in need of replacement. I'm pretty stoked with these items, just a bit upset about the cost because I wasn't planning on spending so much at once.

As for my daughter- I purchased a variety of items for her, mostly because she fights me most mornings and wants only to wear dresses. So I got some tops with tulle skirts to layer with leggings, more thick leggings, and some sweaters and long-sleeve tees to layer with. She didn't need it all, it was just cute, mostly her taste, and easy.


So, why did I order so many things for my out-the-door wardrobe? Some of these items are really expensive and from brands I've never tried, which is unusual for me. I ordered two Garnet Hill cashmere sweaters and a Vince Camuto chiffon-layered top, as well as two nice dresses, one from Ellen Tracy and one from Adrianna Pappell. I really hope my expensive items work out, because they'd be a real treat and real 'gems'. The bulk of this stuff, however, was cheap, from NY&Co and Ann Taylor. I don't have high hopes for much of it but I do hope some things end up being quality.

I ordered because I was feeling bored with my small wardrobe (at least, that's the excuse I used) and really pleased with the new fall items I saw that I have not tried out before- especially since my best colors are all the rage right now (teal, purple, burgundy, cobalt, navy). I also have been very lonely with my husband working extreme hours, and in general allowed browsing and wanting and buying to become a new focus in order to ignore how I feel.

What to do

I feel like I got the 'shopping' somewhat out of my system as far as I have ordered everything I could possibly like or want, except a nice purple cowl neck sweater that I cannot find for the life of me. I still find myself browsing because it was fun to do it, and fun to anticipate those items. I need to find more fun in my life in other things! I was writing my book, but feel a little blocked and have not done much in the last week or two. I was doing scrapbooking, but it's been 6 weeks since I've made time for it. I was KonMari-ing my home, but ran out of steam and have gotten frustrated with the clutter.

I need to refocus my energy on doing these things and stop browsing, which begins the wanting, then purchasing cycle all over again. I need to print out a picture of that dresser and tape it to my ipod and computer monitor so every time I get on it I realize that every $ spent puts me further away from what I really want!

Do you have any tips that you think would help me?


  1. If I recall correctly you are just coming off a shopping ban for a month or more? What you've described above is pretty standard for me when I've completed a ban. I get started and can't seem to stop. I don't use shopping bans as a solution for going on a binge anymore because of this reason. In the end it seems like I spent more money than if I just tried to shop in a moderate way. I have had success in the past with saving for a household item like you're trying to do. Somehow if I'm choosing to put my money elsewhere rather than forbidding myself to buy something I have much better results. I just finished purchasing the last item for my fall/winter list and I know I don't need anymore. I decided to stop shopping online and shop in a very moderate way in physical stores for the rest of the year. I am a bit nervous that even this could lead to a binge, but I'm hoping that being aware of it and continually reminding myself why I'm doing it will help.

    1. I did do a shopping ban, but it was pretty 'natural' in that I started before I intended to, and lasted longer than I intended to because I wasn't interested in shopping. I didn't really consider if it created the 'binge' because I didn't really FEEL the shopping ban / didn't white knuckle through it. This does give me some food for thought though. Hmmmm!

      In the meantime though, I've got to stop with the overshopping and focus on the things I outlined- and now, mindful of not creating a situation where I binge after like you mentioned.